sick mommy

What is worse then being sick and having to watch two babies? I don't know. I've been sick since monday afternoon with the stomach flu. My husband stayed home tues and the sitter came that afternoon so I didn't have to do much with them then but yesterday I was with them by myself for 11 hours. They were so good they watch TV and played with their blocks, I even fell asleep for 20 min on the couch and nothing bad happened. I was impressed the only reson that I woke up was because Katelyn came up and kissed so gently and said "night night mommy".
Emily

sick mommy

What is worse then being sick and having to watch two babies? I don't know. I've been sick since monday afternoon with the stomach flu. My husband stayed home tues and the sitter came that afternoon so I didn't have to do much with them then but yesterday I was with them by myself for 11 hours. They were so good they watch TV and played with their blocks, I even fell asleep for 20 min on the couch and nothing bad happened. I was impressed the only reson that I woke up was because Katelyn came up and kissed so gently and said "night night mommy".
Emily

Beach

Yesterday my friend Kris Colwill and I took all of our five kids to the beach in Capitola, we had so much fun. The funniest thing was that who Kris took the boys to the bathroom, I had 2 people ask me if all the kids were mine. The one Lady said "are they all yours"? And then she said "I thought you were a babysitter, and that you were crazy". I thought that was so funny. It is so fun to be able to take the kids to somewhere that they can just run around without their shoes on and be free. They would run down to the ocean and look at it or throw rocks in it, and then they would run back to us. When we were coming home Katelyn said "beach fun mommy, fun".
Emily

talk about needing help.

We went camping this past weekend with our church with our two children under 2. It was very fun and exhausting at the same time. I had bought these cute sleeping bags at walgreens for $9 each and Katleyn thought her care bears one was the best thing since sliced bread, she drug that thing all over the tent. The whole weekend she would say "camping mommy camping"!!, so cute. They had fun with all of the older kids and the adults whom they know from the nursery. But, they would not take their nap saturday afternoon because the tent was too hot. Brad and I thought we were going to die we were so tired and hot ourselves. Finally they crashed about 8:30pm and slept until about 6:30 and we were able to sleep too. Then we left Sunday afternoon about 11:30 and the kids fell asleep in the car and slept until 3pm, so nice...
Emily

Dispatches from the edge.

I'm reading the Anderson Cooper book "Dispatches from the Edge" and it is so good. He talks about the last 4-5 disasters that he has reprted on (Katrina, Tsunami, Iraq, etc.). He also talks about his family and his childhood his mother was Gloria Vanderbuilt and his father was Wyatt Cooper and he had one brother. He is an excellent writter, and he describes emotions really well. His chapter about Katrina was remarkable. The thing that strickes me most is that he does not want people to forget these terrible things because if we do we will repeat the way we handeled them again whe the next one hits. He was so ashamed of the way that our Government and the state of Louisianna handeled helping the people of Katrina, he said that he saw the same body of a women on the street for 3 days before it was taken away. I have not been there but my parents were there in May to help and they said that it is still bad, the houses are molded from the inside out and the people are still in desperate need of help. It makes me want to pick up my family and go there for a long time until they are back on their feet, but my kids are too young to see that kind of distruction. Pick up the book if you get a chance, it is eye opening. This book will make you remember that people in our own country need us just as much as other countries do.
Emily

Terrible twos

Yesterday when Katelyn woke up she seemed like she was in a good mode. Once I had to get up and get Alex his breakfast it was all over, she wanted me to wrap her baby up the second that it slipped out of the blanket, or she would just yell at me. Where does she get that she can talk to me like that? I mean I don't yell at her and wine at her to do something in two mille seconds, even though I want to sometimes. Then I gave her some yogurt for her breakfast and she through it all over the carpet instead of saying no thank you, she got a time out. Next she wanted to go outside so we went out there and I uncovered the sand and water table and she was so mad because she thought that meant that she couldn't do bubble too, that upset me so much I gave her a spanking. The worst thing was when we ran into target really "quick", I had to take her out of the cart because we had too many things in there and then Alex dropped my keys and we couldn't find them for a half and hour. The whole time I was looking she wanted up or wanted to take everything off the shelf, I got so angry at her and I could only carry her for so long and then she was too heavy. When we finally found my keys we left and I said "I'm sorry Katelyn for being so upset with you and not being more understanding" and she said "I'm sorry too mommy", I think that I almost cried thinking that she felt that she needed to apologize. Ever had one of those days, please share so I will feel better.
Emily

Concern

I'm so concerned about the clothes that they have out there for girls now. We were at the Great Mall on Saturday night and some of the things that I saw absolutley offended me, my child WILL NOT wear that I thought. How am I giong to be able to make sure that she doesn't, check her back pack every morning? I'm just hoping that the good Lord will give me the strength to raise her up modestly and loving herself so much that she doesn't want to look like trash. I can remember the temptation to wear clothes like that, but the reason I didn't was because I thought that I looked horrible in them and I didn't want to draw attention to myself because I was scared of where that attention would get me. It is so nice right now while I have total control over what she wears, but I plan on letting her choose between two outfits soon. Already she will see something and say pretty shoes or pretty shirt. I had to fight with her yesterday to get her to put on pants to cover her diaper under her dress. I know it is coming, I guess I just keep praying.
Emily

Friends

Last night we went out with friends of ours who are married but have no children. I like going out with these guys because they still are interested in what the kids are doing and how I'm doing at home and then they talk about what they have been up too. Also, I can even voice some of my parenting concerns to the wife and she will say what her mom did when she was young or yes I would worry about that too. The husband is from Ohio,and that is always nice to talk to other people who are from your part of the county about how they grew up and so on. So, I would encourage you to have all kinds of friends because they all can contribute in one way or another to your life.
Emily

What is my Job?

I remember right before we had Katelyn I thought this isn't going to be so hard Brad will help me. And of course he helps me, but during the day it was all me. Then when Alex came and all my help went back to Ohio, I was so mad at Brad for going into work every day and it seemed like he didn't care. This was the hardest time in my life as a mother the first 6 months with both of them by myself. And then it hit this is my "job" to take care of the kids and the house (as much as possible) during the day. When Brad gets home he pitches in right until bed time. But, I do all of the house chores except ones that he is really better at or are best done on the weekend ie. the garage organizing, and mold removal in the shower. Really once I realized that this is my job right now and looked at it as something to excel in then I started to do better doing the day, definitely I have my bad days but mostly I'm doing my job as best as I can.
Emily

Quiet time

Lately, I've been getting up when Alex wants his milk cup. I go into their room and give him the cup and then go downstairs, then I'll read my Bible and do my internet cruising and any chores that need done. This has really helped because then when they get up around 6-6:30 then I can play with them before we go to do what we are going to do that morning. I remember that my mom and I had a recent conversation about this and she said that even if she didn't get enough sleep she would get up at 5:30 with my dad and then go downstairs and read her Bible and pray and then do her chores, she said that this helped ground her for the day. I remember thinking there is no way I can do this I never get enough sleep, I've been doing it for two weeks now and even when I don't get enough sleep I'm able to get up and do it. There are some mornings when I hear "okay get up and read your Bible now" and I'm so glad that I do, it has become very enjoyable.
Emily

These people need help

I was reading in a magazine the other day and I was reading one of the Q+A colums. This lady wrote in and said "My husband works late all week and when he is home on the weekends the kids ignore and don't listen to hime" What can we do? The Answer was have designated time for your children to spend time with just daddy and he should arrange to come home early one night a week even if he has to bring home work with him to spend that night with the children. I was thinking you had to write into a magazine to get a very common sence answer like that? These people probably didn't want to hear this advice was all I could think. I encourage you dad's out there spend as much time possible with your children, they are only young once and you have a profound influence on their lives.
Emily

Stay home

Staying home with your children can be so hard and so fun. The hard part is that it can be tidious, and you can find it hard to keep the kids entertained. Also, everyone thinks that I should be home all the time. I'll get messages from firends saying "thought you would be home but I guess your not", or "where are you". Even if I am home sometimes I can't answer the phone, one of my good friends told me once "the phone is for your convience not everyone else's". This is good advice but something inside me says "you should answer that phone" or "when you can you had better call them back". I think that something in my head is thinking "if you don't call them back then they will never call you again", and that I'm sure is not true.
The fun part about staying at home is that you get to see everything first, the first smile, first steps, the first time your daughter helps her brother eat a snack, and the first time they play together. It is so neat to see your own children evolve into "big kids", sometimes I get overwhelmed with this they get so big so fast. It is definately the best job that I've ever loved and hated at the same time.
Emily

sick baby

So, Alex woke up this morning at 4AM with 103.3 fever and fussy. I hate that mostly because he is misserable when he is sick, the first thought that pops to my head "I can't go to the gym today". That should get me the mother of the year arward don't you think? Usually we have a really hard day when one of them is sick, but today was not that bad. Alex wanted help a lot, but so do I when I'm sick. He even was okay for me to get some house work done!! I was totally surprised. The thing that was even more amazing is that I got to watch him try to do everything that Katelyn was doing today, the cutttest was when she got her shoes from the stairway and put them on and he went and got his shoes and then tried really hard to put them on. I would have been running on the tread mill and missed out on that if we had been at the gym.
Emily

Sometimes I wander....

Sometimes I wander do I ramble? My husband and I were out last night with old friends, and I felt like I was just talking to talk. Do you ever feel that way? It's like I haven't talked to an adult all day or at least half a day and you feel like you have to fill someone's ears up as soon as you see them. I try to keep it at a minimum if they ask "how are the kids"? I try to say like 3 things and then stop, althought that can be hard and now I know how it can feel to share your kids lives with other people. I used to think is that all your life is when people would go on and on about their children, but now I know how amazing it is to watch them grow and change and you just want to tell everyone about it. But, I remember when we were struggling to have children that I would not want to hear all the ramblings and new discoveries so it is a balance.
Emily

Long long night with you

Man, Katelyn was up from 12:30-3:30 last night. She will cry really loud until you come in and then she will cry every half an hour until she stops, my husband was really good and went in there 3 times and I went in 2. Somehow he can go back to sleep and so can I until she cries again and then I'm up and then in and out of sleep, so at 2 I said "we should just bring her in her with us" and he said "I don't like that because I think she kind of expects that" and I snapped and said " no she does not" and he said "don't get snappy with me". This is my worst down fall if the kids are driving me crazy then I'm upset with my husband and visa versa, not good. Really really trying to work on that, because in both situations it is not fair to the other party. But, when he says stuff like that I feel like he is accusing me of doing something horribly wrong or that I'm going to somehow damage the kids and I get defensive. Talk about over reaction:). I'm so guarded about my mothering ability because more often then not I feel like I'm not doing something right or that I'm way too impatient or I'm over reacting all the time. I know that we all feel like this sometimes, but since my kids are so close in age I'm trying to be more conscience of the words and actions that I choose because they pick up everything!!
Emily

Legacy

One of the most important things for me with my kids is to tell them what kind of family they come from and what kind of childhood mommy had. This is a hard task considering that I grew up in a medium sized town in Ohio and Brad grew up in a small town in Ohio. But, I try to emulate as many things as possible. I grew up in the YMCA so my kids are giong there now, and I loved the county fair when I was young so we took them this passed weekend. Also, I want them to love the outdoors which they do and I want them to love to do crafts which we are starting to do more of. The things that they will miss out on is a big back yard, a play house, and being able to run throught the whole neighborhood with friends. But, part of that is the world that we live in now. When my mom was here she told me that she thought that it was good that I made sure that they got outside everyday, and I know that it is but I wander if it dapens their play sometimes with mommy always there telling them rules and such. I guess right now I am a playmate especially to Katelyn and I try to keep the rules and correcting to a minimum.
The other part of this- letting them know what kind of family they come from can be kind of difficult since we are so far away, but we make every effort to go to Ohio 2 times a year and then people are making efforts to come visit us as well. My main things that I want them to know are that Christian Values are important and that their family was made up of hard working, God believing people. They owned and worked farms, they grew gardens to be able to eat during the depression, and they worked long hours at low paying jobs to make ends meet. With all this they were happy and loving, and I want my kids to know that you don't need things to be happy, you just need God, each other and love.
Emily

Baby Boy

My baby Boy's name is Alexander Xavier Mays and he is something else. Our daughter is so attached to her daddy, that when Alex came I thought well he will love his daddy just as much. NO WAY, now of course he loves his daddy, he just happens to prefer me and that has been something for me to get used to. He wants me to pick him up all the time, now it is somewhat better because he just started really walking about three weeks ago so now he can get there on his own. I would find myself saying "Alex just a minute" or "mommy needs 2 seconds", so then I realized this isn't going to last much longer, so I decided that I would pick him up as much as possible and do whatever I was doing and that was good. First of all, then I wasn't as stressed out listening to him cry and then I got to see his reaction to things I was doing or trying to do. So, I encourage pick up your baby as much as possible, it goes so fast.
Emily

Women can be each other's enemy

I was reading one of my good friend's bloc a bit ago and she was talking about an author who had been interviewed and was saying how she does not think that women should stay home with their children. I remember that this same friend had sent me the link to the same interview and I had been so angry with this person's comments, they were rude and ignorant. I had told my mother about this article and she had said that she couldn't believe that this women had felt that she had the right to tell other women what to do with their lives, but she said she is probably my age (a young 64) and was part of the women's libe movement of the 60's. So, as my mother and I talked about this she was saying that she also was a strong believer and activist in women's rights but she stayed at home with us. My mom said the best thing "women's rites should not be about telling each other what to do but helping each other feel that they have the right to choose", she also commented that women need to be for each other not against each other. So, ladies lift one another up tell each other "you are doing a great job" or "you are a great mom", that is our calling as sisters.
Emily

love those kids

Man I love m kids. I mean what is better then you give your two year old a kiss and they say "love you mommy" before you get the chance to say it?
Emily

When it feels like you are doing everything

When you are a stay at home mom it can feel like you do everything from taking the garbage out to doing the bills to wiping the noses and the bottoms. My husband and I have this argument all the time and I usually forget that he is out there making a living to provide for us Everyday and he has lots of stresses just like I do. I get so upset if he is sitting on the couch after the kids have gone to bed watching TV and I'm unloading the dishwasher and moving the laundry along and so on. So, I try to remember that when he comes home from work he does not say " I need a few minutes" or "give daddy some space", he can barely put his coffee mug down and the kids are Running for him saying "daddy, daddy" or the baby is crawling or walking as fast as he can towards "daddy". I'm blessed that I have a husband that doesn't care if he gets a break until after 8pm (bedtime) or if when he gets home that I take a walk or go out for the night. So, if you stay home with your kids I encourage you to tell your mate that you need a break. Communication is the key to no one feeling burnt out.
Emily

Sometimes I just can't find what I'm looking for.

If you know me then you would know that I can get so upset if I can't find something that I need or if I keep loosing a particular thing that is important to me. This is something that I've really needed to work on in the last two years (ever since my daughter was born) becasue now I loose or mispalce things all of the time. What I've figured out is that I get most angery and upset at things like this when everything seems to be going wrong in my life. Like when we were having a struggle with having children for 5+ years and had to do hormone injections and take pills and be dissapointed each month. Then we did four rounds of IVF and never got pregnant and had two misscarriages. During this time I would be so upset over the littlest of things, and I would say things to my husband like " you should just get a new wife one that can give you children". If I saw somone with a baby on the street or a teenager that was pregnant I would go into a rage deep inside and then I would shut down for a couple of hours. Then in 2003 I went in for an ultrasound to check things out before an IUI and found out I was pregnant, the Dr. even started crying it was awesome. When Katelyn was 6 months old we found out I was pregnant for our son Alex and now they are 2 years 3months and on year 3 weeks old.
That was the hardest time in my life to date, and now I have a hard time to go throught with taking care of two babies under two all day. But, to me this is easier then not knowing if we were giong to have children. There are days when I think "what was I thinking" and I'll say "did you have to answer my prayers so quickly or so close together", but all in all I would rather be know where else there here in my house getting baby hugs and kisses and teaching my daughter how to put on her shoes.
So, to all of you stay at home moms out there don't let people tell you what you are doing is not imprtant. Because I believe that we have one of the most important jobs on earth, we are raising the next generation and seeing them unfold step by step before our very eyes.
Emily 6:24AM